Looking after yourself following the death of a loved one

Grief doesn’t begin – or end – at the funeral. It’s not even a process with a fixed end in sight – the ‘five stages of grief’ aren’t an orderly procession; they’re more like a pick-and-mix on any given day. I hope that you’ve already started to realise this, and to allow yourself simply to feel whatever you feel, as and when you feel it.  But how can you do that whilst still clinging on to normal life?

Some tips from people who have experienced grief include these, below.  I hope something in here helps.


Crying – don’t beat yourself up over doing it a lot – or not at all. There are no rules except not to work hard to conceal your feelings. That won’t help in the long run.

Friends – many will, but some might not handle your loss well. Much may depend on their own experiences of loss and how they have coped (or not), so try not to judge too harshly. If you need more support, find new companions who will understand through a support group such as www.widowedandyoung.org.uk

Counselling – numerous studies reveal its benefits. If you’ve never tried it, now’s the time. Really.

Exercise – yes, you’ve heard it all before; but you’ll be amazed at how much better it makes you feel. Get out and take a walk.

Help – ask for it. People love a job at a time of crisis.